Pope Francis' Message to the PCNE participants in Manila

His Holiness Pope Francis delivered his message in English to all the participants of the Philippine Conference on New Evangelization (PCNE) which was held at the University of Santo Tomas in Manila. The Pope highlighted his high hopes for the Catholic Church in Asia.

The conference is said to be an avenue to rejuvenate the ideals of Catholicism in the midst of secularist and modernist influences buffering its state. Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle said that PCNE, dubbed as the Asian gathering of faith, the event serves as a “response to the call for new evangelization—a new way of being Church that responds to the emergent powerful culture affected by developments in information technologies, new media, and social networking that influence the people’s way of thinking.”

***n.b.
“Mabuhay ang Pilipinas! Mabuhay ang Asia! Pagpalain kayo ng Diyos!" (Long live the Philippines! Long live Asia! May God bless you!),” the Pope said. These words were omitted in this video probably because of the strict caption that says the first message 'in english' by the Pontiff... *smh*

Petition approved, now what?

photo c/o www.123rf.com

Gospel Reading: Lk 18.1-8

       1.      The necessity of prayer

Some people don’t see the necessity of prayer simply because they don’t need God in their lives. Others consider God to exist only when misfortune or difficulty comes; busy when it’s peak season but complacent when it’s off season. Still for some prayer is like an attendance in school, you must be present but you can be absent at times.

For a person who truly understands what prayer means, it is a way of life. He or she who sees the necessity of prayer knows that what he/she actually receives is not just the grace he/she asked for but the Source himself. The true encounter with God happens in prayer because it is through prayer that we learn the language of God and able to communicate with Him.

Talking about man-made calamities – killings, abuse, and ecosystem imbalance among others? They have the ‘no communication’ and ‘miscommunication’ as culprits. When we disregard the necessity to learn the language of God we will always end up clueless, accusing and uncaring human beings. Prayer helps us align our intention to that of God’s. I believe that this is the first lesson Jesus is teaching us in the parable: highlighting the vital role of prayer in one’s life.

2.      The unceasing prayer

When prayer becomes a way of life it becomes a second nature. It becomes a breath which vivifies man or as St Chrysostom puts it, ‘As the body without the soul cannot live, so the soul without prayer is dead and emits an offensive odor.’ Prayer then becomes an obligation in the positive sense. It is more like a goal to accomplish, an ambition to fulfill, a deadline to meet or a work to keep only that you are happy about doing it. But like any other obligation, prayer needs desire, discipline and determination. We often falter in such requirements especially when things don’t materialize the way we imagine them to happen. We frown at the result, unhappy we quit, and dissatisfied we resort to short-cut plans. Unfortunately in the long run we give up.

Why continue to pray when one does not receive what he/she asked for? It seems reasonable to say that since a request is not granted that there’s no longer point in praying.  God knows what we need anyway. But St Thomas has this to say, ‘not that prayer is necessary in order that God may know our necessities, but in order that we may know the necessity of having recourse to God to obtain the help necessary for our salvation, and may thus acknowledge him to be the author of all our good. ’

God understands. He knows what we ask of Him but He also knows what is good for us. Sometimes God’s answer is a test of faith, not to disappoint us but to purify our intentions. He actually is always ready to give His grace but oftentimes it is us who aren’t. Unceasing prayer is the process we need to undergo through; the first grace that we should be asking God for in the first place.

3.      The indefatigable prayer

Some people don’t see the necessity of prayer, some people pray but cease when dejected but we are encouraged as St Paul says in the 2^nd reading, ‘I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus,…be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient, convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching.’ (2Tm 3.14-4.2) We can win the battles of life if we pray like that. In the first reading, Moses and Joshua led the Israelites into victory against Amalek but Aaron and Hur helped them win the battle by their divinely inspired common sense, remaining steady till sunset (Ex 17.8-13). The widow in the Gospel’s parable obtained justice from an ungodly judge because her persistence weighed him down.

It doesn’t take a genius to know how to pray. The saintly Little Flower wrote, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” Prayer requires willing submission and admission – that prayer is a grace to be received and that without the assistance of this grace we can do any good thing or as St. Leo the Great expresses it, ‘Man does no good thing, except that which God, by his grace, enables him to do.’

Finally, just as the last words of our Lord in the Gospel today, will He find faith on earth?

Amen.

“Increase our faith!”

This is a simple request yet embodies a deeper longing, a humble admission and a willing adherence.

1.      To ask the Lord to increase our faith is to express our desire to understand the things we experience which are beyond our comprehension. We are delighted to have experienced miracles or to encounter extraordinary things yet our intellect is bogged down by the fact that those are beyond words to explain, that they’re just ‘too good to be true.’

2.      To ask the Lord to increase our faith is to acknowledge our ‘littleness’ and limitations. Just because things are beyond our scope that we could not accept or could reject things easily. Our humble admission that without God’s grace we can do nothing is tantamount to the same request the apostles asked, ‘Lord, increase our faith!’

3.      To ask the Lord to increase our faith is to obey, not in the context of ‘no matter what’ but in the context of ‘because the Lord said so.’ Our obedience must not be ‘blind’ but should be rooted in trust and love.

4.      St Thomas Aquinas has this beautiful prayer which expresses the same petition as the Lord’s disciples’ only in an expounded form: "Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you. Amen."

“Were your faith the size of a mustard seed you could say to the mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it would obey you.”

The reply of the Lord seems problematic. True obedience requires reasoning. How can an irrational thing of vegetative soul obey? Or given that it obeys, would it not be contrary to its nature? A sycamore (mulberry) tree does not like to stand in water. It is impossible to plant one in the sea and make it live and grow to bear fruit. But that is exactly the point of the Lord. The exaggeration of his reply pointed to the truth on faith i.e. how powerful faith can be!

In the first place, the Lord:

1.      Desires us to grow in knowledge of Him

2.      Wishes us to grow in love of Him

3.      He is our true friend, one who can be trusted, one who listens, one who keeps his promise to give life, and have it abundantly.

To have a bit of faith (like that of a mustard seed) is a beginning. That is why the Church exhorts us especially in this year of Faith to:

1.      Learn about Jesus Christ

2.      Grow in knowledge of Him and his life

3.      Study, read, preach, share, pray and become obsess because the more we know, the more we grow in love.

Until the time that we embody the words and commands of God that we will be thinking the way He thinks, we will be extending help to others the way He helps, we will love the way He loves. Our help comes from the Lord, and the Lord will supply our needs in order to do the things which are beyond our control.

If we have a faith as small as a sycamore seed, and if today we hear his voice, we must not harden our hearts. Amen.

Agosto, Ah, gusto; Ah, giusto!

Sa buwan na ito sa Roma ay napakainit dahil nga summer, subalit sa Pilipinas naman ay basang-basa sa ulan ang kwento ng buhay. Sa buwan ding ito sa Roma, bakasyon sa eskwela ang mga mag-aaral pero sa Pilipinas nasa kalagitnaan na ng semestre ang mga estudyante. Pagdating sa oras, may pagkakaiba din. Nauuna ng anim na oras ang Pilipinas sa Roma (o Italya). Hindi ko na babanggitin ang iba pang bagay na pagkakaiba ng Pilipinas sa Roma pero ang gusto kong tumbukin ay kung paano, ang isang katulad ko na naninirahan na sa Roma ng halos dalawang taon at umuwi sa Pilipinas upang magbakasyon, ay nanibago at nahirapan sa ilang pagkakaiba na nabanggit ko na. Hindi usapin ang bilang ng taon kundi ang katotohanan na mahirap baguhin ang mga bagay na atin ng nakasanayan lalo na’t wala tayong kakayahan na hindi sumangayon sa mga ito, kapag tayo’y umuwi sa ating sariling bansa.

Personal akong nahirapan sa oras ng pagtulog gayun din sa oras ng paggamit ng banyo. Naging suliranin ko rin ang bilang at dami ng aking kinakain, hindi dahil sa hindi ko gusto ang pagkain kundi hindi maayos ang pakiramdam ng aking tiyan pagkatapos kumain. Ang kapaligiran ko, mga taong nakakasalamuha ko, pati na ang pagmamaneho  at pagbibiyahe ko sa ibang lugar ay bahagyang naka-apekto sa akin upang manibago. Kadalasan kapag ako’y umuuwi ay panay na lamang ako reklamo, napakadaling uminit ng aking ulo at halos wala akong tigil sa pamumuna ng mga negatibong bagay o pangyayari na nakikita ko. Tuloy hindi ko namamalayan na hindi nagiging masaya at payapa ang aking pagbabakasyon. Pero iba sa pagkakataong ito dahil nakatulong sa akin ang pangaral ng isang malapit na kaibigan bago ako umuwi ng Pilipinas. Ang sabi niya sa akin ay kailangan kong ‘magbaon’ ng patience and understanding. Pinanghawakan ko ito at tinandaang mabuti kaya nga sa unang mga sandali pa lamang matapos lumapag ang eroplano na aming sinakyan sa NAIA, nasubukan na kaagad ang aking pasensya at pangunawa. Nasundan pa ito ng marami pang pagkakataon hanggang sa oras na isinusulat ko ang kwentong ito.

Marami akong bagay na dapat ikainis at ikagalit habang ako’y nagbabakasyon subalit naging mabisa para sa akin ang isabuhay ang payo ng aking kaibigan. Dahil dito mas nakita ko ang kabutihan, kagandahan at mga positibong bagay sa mga hindi kagandahan at hindi maayos na pangyayari sa loob o labas man ng aking tahanan. Naisip ko na kung hindi natin mabago ang paligid natin dapat siguro na tayo ang magbago; kung hindi natin mapasunod ang mga pangyayari sa gusto natin dapat na tayo ang sumunod. Kapag ginawa natin ito malalaman natin na hindi naman pala ganuong kahirap sa atin; hindi naman pala puro pangit at higit sa lahat hindi naman pala sila pabigat sa atin. Nasa pagsasaayos ng ating sarili at pagkakaroon ng tamang disposisyon (katulad ng pasensya at pangunawa) ang sagot at susi upang kahit maraming pagbabago sa ating pagbabakasyon, masabi natin sa pagbalik ng Roma (o Italya) na, ang sarap talaga sa atin!

  

Wika ng isang Ina: ‘Trabaho o Anak?’

Sa pagkakaroon ko ng dalawang anak, dalawang magka-ibang paraan ko rin naranasan at nagampanan ang aking pagiging ina. ;

Labing-isang taong gulang na ang aking bunso at masasabi kong naging maayos ang aming pagpapalaki sa kanya sa kabila ng lahat ng pagsubok na dumaan sa aming buhay. Hindi madali ang maging ina lalo na kung maraming mga problemang sumasabay habang ginagampanan ko ito. Problema na siya ring nakatulong sa amin upang maging matatag at maipagpatuloy ang buhay na ibinigay sa amin ng Panginoon. Bilang ina sa aking dalawang anak, naging napakahirap sa akin ang sitwasyon dahil lumaki silang magkalayo. Hindi ko naranasan ang maging ina sa aking panganay. Dito ko siya ipinanganak sa Italya subalit sa Pilipinas siya lumaki at nag-aral. Iniuwi ko siya at inihabilin ko sa aking ina pagsapit niya ng ika-anim na buwan. Ginampanan ng nanay ko ang aking tungkulin at tanging pagpapadala lamang ng pera at pagbili ng mga kailangan ng aking anak ang aking nagawa. Nagkikita lamang kami kapag umuuwi ako isang beses sa isang taon at kung minsan naman ay siya ang pinapupunta ko rito upang magbakasyon. Ganito ang aming sitwasyon sa paglipas ng mga taon. Sa aking bunso ko naranasan ang magpalaki ng anak. Hindi ito naging madali, maraming pagkakataon na sumasabay na lang ako sa pag-iyak ng aking anak sa maraming katanungan sa isip ko na hindi ko alam kung paano masasagot.                                                      

Hindi ako nagtatrabaho noon dahil kailangan ako ng anak ko. Pero paano kami mabubuhay kung hindi ako tutulong sa pagtatrabaho? Hindi sapat ang kinikita ng aking asawa para sa aming pamilya. Maraming gabi na hindi ako nakakatulog sa pag-iisip at ganoon din sa pag-aalaga ng bata lalo na kapag may sakit ito. Dito ko natutunang pag-aralan ang bawat iyak ng aking anak – kung gutom ba siya o kung may sumasakit sa kanya. Isang pagkakataong hindi ko malimut-limot ay ang pangyayari nang isang tanghaliang umuwi ang asawa ko galing sa trabaho. Dumulog kami sa mesa para kumain pero kanin lang ang nakahain. Sinabi ko sa asawa ko na wala kaming ulam. May nakita siyang kamatis at kaunting alamang at iyon ang nagsilbing ulam namin. Walang patid ang paglaglag ng luha ko habang kumakain. Niyakap na lang ako ng asawa ko at sinambit niya ang katagang “Kaya natin ito!” Naisip ko na lang, ‘Paano na ang anak ko? Kailangan kong maging malakas bilang ina para sa anak ko.’                 

Lumipas pa ang ilang buwan at nagdesisyon ako na maghanap ng trabaho para makatulong  sa pamilya. Pero paano ang anak ko? Trabaho o anak? Syempre, pinili ko ang anak ko pero hindi ako nawalan ng pag-asa na tutulungan kami ng Panginoon sa aming problema at iyon nga ang nangyari. Nakilala namin si Weng, isang Pilipina na bagong panganak din at hindi nagtatrabaho dahil din sa pag-aalaga sa kanyang anak. Sa araw-araw na nasa trabaho kami, sa kanya namin pinaalagaan ang aming anak hanggang sa ipasok na namin siya sa asilo o daycare center. Dito na nag-umpisa ang bagong buhay ng aking pagiging ina at bilang asawa. Naging maganda ang takbo ng paghahanap-buhay naming mag-asawa at naging maayos ang paglaki ng aming anak.

Sa ngayon, tapos na sa kanyang pag-aaral ang aking panganay na anak, nakapasa na sa board exam, nakatapos na rin ng kanyang masteral course at kasalukuyang nagtatrabaho sa isang ospital bilang nurse. Nasa high school naman ang aking bunso at lumalaking maayos, malusog at matalino. Napatunayan ko na bilang isang ina, kinakailangan ang lakas ng loob at matatag na paniniwala sa Diyos at ang lahat ay malalampasan. Hindi Niya kami pinabayaan at lalo kaming naging malakas at matibay sa pagharap sa lahat ng uri ng pagsubok sa aming buhay.

(Ako'y lubos na nagpapasalamat kay Gng. Bernandita "Mama Dytes" Silang-Parin sa pagbabahagi niya dito ng kanyang karanasan. Mabuhay ang mga Ina!)

Malayuang papel ng isang Ina

Ang karanasan ko bilang isang Ina ay masasabi kong malaking responsibilidad. Bilang isang Ina, napalaki ko ang dalawa kong anak na mababait, maka-Diyos at may respeto sa kapwa. Bakit ko nasabi ito? Maliliit pa sila ng iwan ko sila at magtrabaho dito sa ibang bansa bilang ‘kasambahay.’ Mag isa kong itinaguyod ang kanilang pag-aaral. Kahit malayo ako sa kanila ay hindi ako nagkulang ng mga pangaral tungkol sa kagandahang asal. Sila ang naging inspirasyon ko sa pagtatrabaho kaya natiis ko ang hirap ng kalooban at pangungulila sa kanila. 

Tiniis ko ang sakit ng kalooban na hindi ko man lamang sila nasubaybayan sa kanilang paglaki upang mabigyan ko sila ng magandang kinabukasan. Ganoon din naman sila. Ang bawat patak ng pawis ko ang naging inspirasyon nila upang pagbutihin nila ang kanilang pag-aaral. Binigyang halaga nila ang lahat na aking paghihirap at sakripisyo dito. Ngayon, masaya na ako dahil alam ko na nagampanan ko na ang aking tungkulin bilang isang Ina kahit na ako ay nasa malayo. Kuntento na ako at napagtapos ko sila sa kanilang pag-aaral. Ngunit alam ko na hindi dito magwawakas ang tungkulin ko bilang isang Ina. Sa abot ng aking makakaya at habang ako ay nabubuhay, itutuloy ko ang aking pagiging Ina sa kanila. Salamat sa Diyos sa pagbibigay Niya ng dalawang anak na katulad nila; salamat sa Diyos sa walang hanggang patnubay Niya sa amin.

(Ako ay lubos na nagpapasalamat kay Bb Revy Padilla sa pahintulot na mailathala ko ang kwento ng karanasan niya bilang isang Ina)

SOLEMNITY OF PENTECOST HOLY MASS WITH THE ECCLESIAL MOVEMENTS

HOMILY OF POPE FRANCIS

Saint Peter's Square
Sunday, 19 May 2013

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Today we contemplate and re-live in the liturgy the outpouring of the Holy Spirit sent by the risen Christ upon his Church; an event of grace which filled the Upper Room in Jerusalem and then spread throughout the world.

But what happened on that day, so distant from us and yet so close as to touch the very depths of our hearts? Luke gives us the answer in the passage of the Acts of the Apostles which we have heard (2:1-11). The evangelist brings us back to Jerusalem, to the Upper Room where the apostles were gathered. The first element which draws our attention is the sound which suddenly came from heaven “like the rush of a violent wind”, and filled the house; then the “tongues as of fire” which divided and came to rest on each of the apostles. Sound and tongues of fire: these are clear, concrete signs which touch the apostles not only from without but also within: deep in their minds and hearts. As a result, “all of them were filled with the Holy Spirit”, who unleashed his irresistible power with amazing consequences: they all “began to speak in different languages, as the Spirit gave them ability”. A completely unexpected scene opens up before our eyes: a great crowd gathers, astonished because each one heard the apostles speaking in his own language. They all experience something new, something which had never happened before: “We hear them, each of us, speaking our own language”. And what is it that they are they speaking about? “God’s deeds of power”.

In the light of this passage from Acts, I would like to reflect on three words linked to the working of the Holy Spirit: newness, harmony and mission.

1. Newness always makes us a bit fearful, because we feel more secure if we have everything under control, if we are the ones who build, programme and plan our lives in accordance with our own ideas, our own comfort, our own preferences. This is also the case when it comes to God. Often we follow him, we accept him, but only up to a certain point. It is hard to abandon ourselves to him with complete trust, allowing the Holy Spirit to be the soul and guide of our lives in our every decision. We fear that God may force us to strike out on new paths and leave behind our all too narrow, closed and selfish horizons in order to become open to his own. Yet throughout the history of salvation, whenever God reveals himself, he brings newness - God always brings newness -, and demands our complete trust: Noah, mocked by all, builds an ark and is saved; Abram leaves his land with only a promise in hand; Moses stands up to the might of Pharaoh and leads his people to freedom; the apostles, huddled fearfully in the Upper Room, go forth with courage to proclaim the Gospel. This is not a question of novelty for novelty’s sake, the search for something new to relieve our boredom, as is so often the case in our own day. The newness which God brings into our life is something that actually brings fulfilment, that gives true joy, true serenity, because God loves us and desires only our good. Let us ask ourselves today: Are we open to “God’s surprises”? Or are we closed and fearful before the newness of the Holy Spirit? Do we have the courage to strike out along the new paths which God’s newness sets before us, or do we resist, barricaded in transient structures which have lost their capacity for openness to what is new? We would do well to ask ourselves these questions all through the day.

2. A second thought: the Holy Spirit would appear to create disorder in the Church, since he brings the diversity of charisms and gifts; yet all this, by his working, is a great source of wealth, for the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of unity, which does not mean uniformity, but which leads everything back toharmony. In the Church, it is the Holy Spirit who creates harmony. One of Fathers of the Church has an expression which I love: the Holy Spirit himself is harmony – “Ipse harmonia est”. He is indeed harmony. Only the Spirit can awaken diversity, plurality and multiplicity, while at the same time building unity. Here too, when we are the ones who try to create diversity and close ourselves up in what makes us different and other, we bring division. When we are the ones who want to build unity in accordance with our human plans, we end up creating uniformity, standardization. But if instead we let ourselves be guided by the Spirit, richness, variety and diversity never become a source of conflict, because he impels us to experience variety within the communion of the Church. Journeying together in the Church, under the guidance of her pastors who possess a special charism and ministry, is a sign of the working of the Holy Spirit. Having a sense of the Church is something fundamental for every Christian, every community and every movement. It is the Church which brings Christ to me, and me to Christ; parallel journeys are very dangerous! When we venture beyond (proagon) the Church’s teaching and community – the Apostle John tells us in his Second Letter - and do not remain in them, we are not one with the God of Jesus Christ (cf. 2 Jn v. 9). So let us ask ourselves: Am I open to the harmony of the Holy Spirit, overcoming every form of exclusivity? Do I let myself be guided by him, living in the Church and with the Church?

3. A final point. The older theologians used to say that the soul is a kind of sailboat, the Holy Spirit is the wind which fills its sails and drives it forward, and the gusts of wind are the gifts of the Spirit. Lacking his impulse and his grace, we do not go forward. The Holy Spirit draws us into the mystery of the living God and saves us from the threat of a Church which is gnostic and self-referential, closed in on herself; he impels us to open the doors and go forth to proclaim and bear witness to the good news of the Gospel, to communicate the joy of faith, the encounter with Christ. The Holy Spirit is the soul of mission. The events that took place in Jerusalem almost two thousand years ago are not something far removed from us; they are events which affect us and become a lived experience in each of us. The Pentecost of the Upper Room in Jerusalem is the beginning, a beginning which endures. The Holy Spirit is the supreme gift of the risen Christ to his apostles, yet he wants that gift to reach everyone. As we heard in the Gospel, Jesus says: “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to remain with you forever” (Jn 14:16). It is the Paraclete Spirit, the “Comforter”, who grants us the courage to take to the streets of the world, bringing the Gospel! The Holy Spirit makes us look to the horizon and drive us to the very outskirts of existence in order to proclaim life in Jesus Christ. Let us ask ourselves: do we tend to stay closed in on ourselves, on our group, or do we let the Holy Spirit open us to mission? Today let us remember these three words: newness, harmony and mission.

Today’s liturgy is a great prayer which the Church, in union with Jesus, raises up to the Father, asking him to renew the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. May each of us, and every group and movement, in the harmony of the Church, cry out to the Father and implore this gift. Today too, as at her origins, the Church, in union with Mary, cries out: “Veni, Sancte Spiritus! Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and kindle in them the fire of your love!” Amen.

Nag-iisang magulang sa nag-iisang anak…

Walong taon na akong naninirahan at nagtratrabaho dito sa Roma ng ipinanganak ko ang aking kaisa-isang anak na lalaki na si Kiko. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ng lahat na isa akong single mother. Bagamat sa una napakaganda ng relasyon namin ng tatay ng anak ko ay tuluyan din itong nauwi sa hiwalayan dahil sa hindi pagkakaunawaan at sa kadahilanang hindi naman kami kasal.

Ang maging isang ‘single mother’ ay hindi isang biro; kailangan kong magbanat ng buto para mabuhay ‘di lamang para sa aking anak kundi para na rin sa aking pamilya na naiwan sa Pilipinas. Upang ako naman ay makapag trabaho kailangang may mag alaga sa aking anak at iyon ay ang aking nakakabatang kapatid na babae. Mahirap na mapalayo sa anak ko lalo pa at siya ay sanggol pa lamang pero anong magagawa ng katulad kong nag-iisa?

Walong buwan pa lamang ang aking anak ng siya’y naiuwi ko sa aking mga kapatid sa Pilipinas. Kailangan kong isakripisyo na mapalayo sa aking pamilya at sa aking anak upang matustusan ko ang pangangailangan namin. Lahat na yata ng klase ng trabaho ay naranasan ko na para lamang kumita, pero sa lahat ng iyon ay ang pag-aabroad ang pinaka mahirap, Naghahalo ang pawis at luha ko sa tuwing nagiisa ako at ng dahil sa pangungulila sa aking anak at pamilya. Tiniis kong mapalayo sa kanila para lamang may maipakain sa kanila at may maipantustos sa kanyang pag-aaral.

Sa paglayo ko, hangad ko na mabigyan sila ng magandang kinabukasan. Ni hindi ko na inisip ang kahihinatnan ng aking paglayo. Pikitmata kong sinuong ang lahat, naranasan kong matulog ng mag-uumaga na hindi dahil sa hindi ako pinapatulog kundi talagang hindi ako makatulog, Siguro dahil ito sa pangungulila at magkahalong pagod sa trabaho at pagod na isipan. Naalala ko pa nga ang aking anak noong s’ya ay bata pa sa minsan naming pag-uusap ay nasabi niyang: “Mama umuwi kana kahit wala na po akong magandang damit at hindi na rin ako iinom ng gatas basta nandito ka lang po.” Ngunit naging bato ang damdamin ko hangang sa ilang buwan at taon na ang nagdaan.

Nagtrabaho ako bilang tagapag-alaga ng mga batang Italyano na sa paglipas ng panahon ay napamahal na rin sa akin at samo’t saring trabaho pa ang aking pinasukan. Sa mga panahong iyon ay hindi ko na maiwasang ikumpara ang mga bata sa aking anak, at hindi ko mapigilang lumuha sa isiping ibang bata ang inaalagaan ko samantalang ang anak ko na mas higit na kailangan ang inang katulad ko na mag-aaruga sa kanya ay heto at ibang tao ang inaalagaan. Halos karamihan sa mga nangingibang bansa na babae ay isang ina, kaya siguro ramdam din nila ang pait na aking nararamdaman.

Sa isang inang katulad ko, handa kong isakripisyo ang sariling kapakanan mabigyan lamang ng magandang bukas ang aking anak. Sabi lang nila malakas ako at matapang ako upang magawa ito, pero ang totoo ay mahina din ako at may takot na nararamdaman, tinitiis nga lamang alang- alang lang sa aming kinabukasan. Napilitang mag-abroad na ang tanging nasa isip ay ang magkaroon ng kaginhawaan ang buhay na hindi ko alintana ang maaaring kahihinantnan ng desisyon na ito.

Maraming pagsubok akong naranasan ngunit sa tulong at gabay ng aking pamilya na naiwan sa Pilipinas, bagamat nakakausap ko lamang sila sa pamamagitan ng telepono ay tinulungan akong malagpasan ang mga ito. Isa rin sa nagpapatatag ng aking kalooban ay ang paniniwala na ang Panginoon ay laging nandyan sa lahat ng oras lalo na sa oras ng kagipitan; hangat hindi ka bumibitaw sa paniniwala at paghingi ng gabay sa Panginoon ay hindi Niya talaga tayo pababayaan. Patuloy lamang tayong manalig at magdasal saan man tayo naroroon. Ginawa kong inspirasyon ang aking pamilya lalung-lalo na ang aking anak para makayanan ang lahat ng pagsubok at pangungulilang dulot ng pag-aabroad.

Ngayon ay malaki na si Kiko. Siya ay 18 years old na at binata na. Hindi man ako madalas umuwi upang makasama siya ay laking pasasalamat ko pa rin at nasa tabi niya ako sa mga importanteng bahagi ng kanyang buhay katulad ng graduation at ilang birthdays niya. Maipagmamalaki ko rin na bagamat malayo ako sa kanya ay hindi siya naligaw ng landas. Ito ay dahil na rin sa mabuting pag-gabay ng aking ina at mga kapatid sa kanya na aking lubos na ipinasasalamat. Subalit hindi pa rin natatapos ang mga pagsubok sa akin sapagkat ngayon naging mas mahirap na ang pagtustos ko sa kanyang pag-aaral dahil siya ay nasa kolehiyo na. Ngunit labis pa rin akong nagagalak sapagkat nananatili siyang isang mabuting anak at estudyante, matigas man ang ulo minsan ay sumusunod naman sa lahat ng oras.

Hindi naman sa lahat ng oras ay ako ay nangungulila dahil lahat ng ito ay napapawi marinig ko lamang ang boses at halakhak ng aking anak at ng aking pamilya. Kaya sa mga kapwa ko OFW, single mother ka man o hindi, saan man kayong bansa naroroon, ay lakasan lamang ang loob, manatiling matatag, nakakapit sa Diyos at huwag kakalimutang mag-enjoy. At huwag ipagdamot sa sarili ang mga bagay na maaring magpa-saya sa iyo, lalo na ang oras na kasama mo ang iyong pamilya.

(Lubos akong nagpapasalamat kay Bb. Elvie Quintans sa pagbabahagi niya ng kanyang karanasan)

Ang Ubod ng pagiging isang Ina

Pinaka masayang araw para sa akin nuong ako ay biyayaan ng napakahalagang regalo ng Diyos, noong dumating sa buhay namin ang una kong anak. Magkahalong saya at pangamba ang aking naramdaman: saya, dahil ipinagkaloob sa akin ang isang napakalusog na batang babae, ngunit may kahalong pangamba dahil hindi ko alam kung paano ko gagampanan ang maging isang ina, dahil ako mismo ay nagkamalay at nagkaisip na malayo at hinahanap ang kalinga ng isang ina. Labinlimang taon na ako ay malayo sa tunay kong ina at pamilya. Sa bawat araw na dumadaan ay unti-unting nabura ang mga agam-agam ko at ito ay napalitan ng lubos na saya na ninanamnam ang bawat minuto,oras at buwan na kasama ko ang aking anak. Ito ay sa  kadahilanang kailangan ko na ihabilin o paalagan ng pansamantala sa mga magulang ko sa Pilipinas ang aming anak. Ito ang naisip ko na paraan para kami ay makapaghanap ng maayos na trabaho at mabigyan siya ng kaunting ginhawa sa buhay.

Sa gulang na tatlong buwan ng siya ay iuwi at iwanan ko sa aking mga magulang,durog ang puso ko na umalis pero kampante din ako dahil alam ko na mas magiging maayos siya sa piling ng mga magulang ko. At hindi nga ako nagkamali sa naging desisyon ko noon dahil kahit kami ay magkalayo ng aking anak ay para rin akong nasa malapit dahil araw-araw na pagtawag sa telepono ang aming komunikasyon. Kahit noon ay 'di pa niya kayang magsalita subalit sa paglipas ng taon ay nakasanayan na nmin ang ganitong sitwasyon - na magkalayo sa isa't-isa na umabot ng anim na taon.

Hindi ko na inakala na ako ay muling mabibiyayaan ng isa pang supling na batang lalaki. Ito ay lubos na kaligayahan para sa amin, kaligayahang di kayang tapatan ng kahit gaano kalaking sweldo. Ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ay kinailangan ko pa rin siyang iwanan sa aking mga magulang sa kagustuhan ko na silang magkapatid ay magkalapit at lumaki na magkasama na kahit ako ang magsakripisyo. Sa kabila ng magandang trabaho at pagkita ay naroroon ang lungkot at pag-asa na sana ay kasama ko sila. Hindi nagtagal at dumating ang araw na iyon. Ipinahintulot na ng Diyos na sila ay makasama at makapiling  namin. Sa kabila ng galak ay muli kong naramdaman ang pangamba sapagkat haharapin ko ang napakalaking obligasyon na hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula at kung paano haharapin ang buhay na ako namn ang kanilang kasama. 

Sa simula ng mga araw ay masasabi ko na mahirap dahil pare-parehas naming kinikilala ng mas mabuti ang ugali ng bawat isa. Kasabay nito ay unti-unti ko rin nakita ang mga mabubuting ugali at mga sumpong ng aking mga anak at ganon din naman sila sa akin. Kakaunti pa ang eksperyensa ko bilang isang ina dahil halos apat na taon ko pa lang sila nakakasama pero lubos akong masaya dahil marahil ito na ang pagkakataon para magampanan ko ang obligasyon ko sa kanila bilang nanay at naniniwala ako na kakayanin ko (namin) ang lahat basta't magkakasama kami bilang isang pamilya.

(Lubos ang aking pasasalamat kay Bb Yayo Andal Hernandez sa pagbabahagi ng kanyang karanasan bilang isang Ina)

MY JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD

by Naty Viray 

My childhood started with lollipops and baby dolls. I didn’t realize that a few years more it will end with roses and a baby. Yes, my motherhood began a little early than expected because I fell in love earlier than I thought I would.

on their trip to Naples

Falling in love with a man I married is one of the major decisions that brought me into the journey of motherhood sooner than some young ladies at my age. I got married and became a mother at the age of 16. My life went into a tremendous change from dependency to full responsibility. It was not a joke to carry a life in your womb. It was like I was in charge of giving life to my unborn child, more so at a very tender age of 16.

I gave birth to my first born and a family was formed. Years after I gave birth to another three kids and the family transformed to a bigger and a happier one. It was not easy raising four kids but the challenges were made sweeter because I was rearing them with a good and responsible husband by my side. Yes, life was tough in so many aspects but it doesn’t matter how tough it was and how young a person is, if you put your heart and soul into it and put God in the midst, he or she can make it happen.

with her daughter Jennifer

I remember how tiring it was to raise my kids especially during their younger years. It was physically exhausting. It was a selfless responsibility. It was harder because I too was still in my maturing age. My experience was like growing with them. But in spite all the hardships, the beauty in it was seeing them grow healthy and active. It was an endless joy and happiness for me and my husband. During their younger years I would wish that they remain babies so that they will always remain cute and innocent. I want them to remain with us for life. But when I feel tired, I also wish that they grow old and become self-sufficient. Then I realized I really do not need to wish hard because they will take their own stride.

their youngest son Jerwin

One day you just wake up and see how time flies and how they grew faster. Until one day again you see them taking their own journey in building their own career and have a life of their own. And the journey to parenthood is now within their reach. As a mother, you suddenly feel out of touch of everything that is happening. You have no more control of their lives because they are now self-sufficient and independent enough to make their own decisions. And then they start with their own lives leaving me and my husband, and then again I realized there is not much difference really being a mom to growing kids and a mom to grown up children. Earlier on when you have full control over them, you are tired and happy. Now when you are not in control over them, you feel tired too and happy - tired because you do not stop wishing that they make good in life; tired because you want to see them succeed and become the persons you want them to be; tired because you do not stop caring for them. Despite the tiredness, I am also happy because it gives me joy to see them successful. It gives me a true sense of fulfillment and assurance that I did my job well for them because I see them going through the same journey that I did and I believe that I gave them the right and strong foundation, the reason why they are taking their own journeys quite well.

taken during the 20th Founding Anniversary of Karilagan

Just like my own path, there may be rough and bumpy roads along their own journeys but I want my own children to know that they can hold my hand anytime they tumble down because a mother’s love is the kind of love that no one can replace. So now when I talk about my journey, I can only smile and tell myself that after all, there is no regret for being a mother too soon because it only means realizing my worth as a parent too soon, too. Now that my job as a mother is ‘almost done,’ I have my full life to live with my husband as we both hold hands and travel the journey of togetherness since God made us husband and wife; since the time we promised to live together until the end of time, until the end of the rainbow. 

(My deepest gratitude to 'Tita Naty' for allowing me to post/share her story on my blog)