Until When?

When do we stop bleeding?

When hope is gone when future is shattered?

When do we stop begging?

When we recount no more when believing is petrified?

When do we stop counting?

When breathing fails when life’s meaning abandoned?

When do we stop running?

When fuel already consumed when speed is reduced?

When do we stop pretending?

When harmony retires when susceptibility is displaced?

Until when O heart will you ever learn to remorse?

Is there a chance to take hold of the last fate yet untold?

December 31st, January 1st, and how they mattered!

What does it mean to end a year committing an unwise decision? What does it mean to start a new year in a not so good physical health? For many, these are not good signs for either a better year ahead or proclaiming a brighter future. With all their good intentions on this I declare no opposition. However, I would like to interpret them from a different angle.

Last December 31, 2012 I had failed to meet a very important appointment - important because I had spent a hundred euro for that. It was unwise of me to have chosen the last day of the year to set an appointment because little did I know that half of the population of Rome plus the multitude of tourists were out in the street, business establishments and public transportation on that day. Also, the roads were blocked in lieu of the evening event thus it was very inconvenient to get a ride. I know I was exaggerating but it was really bad timing to set up an appointment which requires promptness on that day. As expected I ended up withdrawing from the said appointment, helpless and disappointed. I should have made a big fuss over it but instead I admitted that I made a mistake and charged everything that took place in my bucket list of experiences.  I realized one thing though, that ‘it is not a bad thing to end a year with a mistake even if it is a careless one.’ Not that I was consenting to do evil or promoting complacency, I was just stating the fact that it doesn't need the last day of the year to find out that to a commit mistake is to be human. The bottom line is the way you deal with it. Is it with such diplomacy but also plainly keeping in mind that those are still mistakes to get over with and those shouldn't be committed again or pretend that they had never occurred? I believe that’s the wisdom behind the dim curtain, the price of a hundred euro. 

I went to celebrate the New Year with my couple-friends in Tuscany. The couple works for affluent and kindhearted employers who permitted them to invite us to spend the New Year at their summer residence in a 13 hectare land. There, I got to know their other friends whom they have invited to celebrate as well. The food was great and the house really looked elegant set in a relaxing and festive ambiance. Stories after stories, delicious food over the plate, gift-giving, laughter, endless picture taking and of course the welcoming of the New Year by lighting fireworks and fire crackers outside the house by the pool were the things that made us all busy the whole night. It was an experience. The not so good side though was that I went to bed with a bad cough and headache after the party. I thought I overly reacted. I have no excuse to believe that I did take advantage of the celebration a bit over-the-top. Two weeks ago I nursed a very bad cold. I thought I had recovered from it but unfortunately that night I was mistaken. I realized that although I usually get sick during this season of the year, that night I had felt that my coughing was a bit serious. I knew I had failed to communicate properly with my body. It took me another year and the first day of the New Year at that, to understand how important it is to establish a good rapport with oneself i.e. to be healthy. We usually take our health issues for granted only to realize that one can’t go on in realizing his/her full potentials while at the same time neglecting his/her health. Surely, no one would ever wish to kick off the New Year and be in such condition. Unfortunately, I was.

And the reason why December 31^st and January 1^st mattered to me was not because of the unfortunate events that transpired on those important dates but because my ‘unwise moves’ allowed me to see hope instead of desperation, that alongside fragility I can conclude the year and welcome the new year with a conviction that I can set fire to the rain; that I can appreciate the past, live in the present and anticipate the future; and that because I had been given another opportunity to live life the way my Lord and Savior intended it for me.  I believe it is not a question whether an opportunity only knocks once or many times, it’s how able we are to acknowledge that what comes are indeed opportunities and use them for our